How Do U Know if You Are Lesbian and Have a Boyfriend

In that location are too many stereotypes about how lesbians think and behave, columnist says.

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• Columnist exposes lesbian stereotypes and tries to set record straight
• At that place'south non always a "man" or "woman" role played in lesbian couples
• Not all lesbians hate men, lingerie or their fathers
• Existence gay is not always easier than being directly

(The Frisky) -- At that place are a lot of misconceptions well-nigh lesbians. I'thou confronted with them daily and, frankly, hearing this stuff is like getting smacked in the face with a wet rag.

Usually, when someone fires off a stereotype, I am so shocked that I just stand there, staring, opening and closing my mouth like a big, dumb goldfish.

So I'm going to take this opportunity to go up on my soapbox and stamp out all the stupid, ignorant misconceptions I take heard over the years. Hopefully, next time I hear one of these things I tin eloquently explain why it's untrue rather than only stammering, "What!? Wiggle!"

Lesbians hate men. Actually, I detect that oft the reverse is true. A lot of gay women I know have a ton of guy friends and discover that they get along with dudes as well as with chicks. I like checking out girls and my directly lady friends aren't so interested in doing that. I feel very comfy with my guy friends because they don't intendance about how I look and don't gossip to nearly the same caste. That said, I am very, very shut to some of my female person friends. In that location is definitely a very special bond between people of the same gender.

Being gay is easier than being straight because you're dating someone who is the same gender as yous. I wish this were true, but it isn't. Guys complain that girls are impossible to effigy out and I agree. I don't understand my own emotions and feelings half the fourth dimension, let alone another woman's. Oh aye, and if you recollect having sex with someone who has the aforementioned parts every bit yous is easier, you lot're incorrect there too. You know how information technology's like shooting fish in a barrel to put mascara on yourself but not on someone else? Yeah, it'southward kind of like that.

There is ever a "human being" and a "woman" in lesbian relationships. Nope. My girlfriend and I both happen to be pretty feminine. I accept seen lesbian couples where both women are on the masculine side, too. Believe it or non, lesbians care a lot near personality, only like straight couples. We don't simply go around trying to fill a gender deficiency. Who nosotros are attracted to doesn't have a whole lot to do with how we ourselves look. Rather, information technology has to do with ... who we are attracted to. Wow, what a concept!

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Lesbians have daddy issues or were sexually driveling as kids. Puhleeasee! My sexual preference has nothing to do with trauma or some kind of damage that happened to me as a child. Imagine, for a moment, what this chat would wait like if it went the opposite way. Straight adult female: I'm straight. Lesbian: Ooooh! Do y'all have a actually bad human relationship with your female parent?! Straight adult female: No. Lesbian: Well, you must have been sexually abused by a big, mean lesbian equally a child. Ridiculous, isn't it?

If you are a lesbian you've never had a meaningful relationship or been in love with a man. This is a hard one to make people believe, just it isn't true. When I was younger, I identified as bisexual and had a three-yr relationship with a man whom I loved a lot. A few years after nosotros bankrupt up, I realized I couldn't engagement or slumber with men anymore because I didn't feel sexually attracted to them. Things alter, OK? A woman who has a relationship with a adult female is gratis to place as straight when the human relationship ends, then why tin can't I practice the opposite?

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Lesbians get committed really fast and don't cheat. The quondam joke that a lesbian's 2d date is renting a U-Haul is stupid. Like straight couples, some become a "we" very fast, and some don't. Oh aye, and you know how promiscuity happens in some hetero relationships and non in others? Surprise! That also happens with homosexual couples. Let'south stop stereotyping women as delivery-obsessed, clingy crazies, OK?

Women who like women -- especially bisexual chicks -- are only dying to take part in your threesome. Obviously, this varies depending on the person. I, myself, do not want to share my girlfriend with anyone. I'd rather drink a bottle of shampoo than picket someone else touch her. And, no, I do not desire to have sex with y'all and your fellow. By the style, girls, my involvement in your sexual practice life isn't going to brand your BF beloved you more than.

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Lesbians don't clothing lingerie. Wrong again. Girls article of clothing sexy underwear for their boyfriends and girls wear sexy underwear for their girlfriends. The difference? Lesbians are enlightened of how uncomfortable that crap is and appreciate information technology more.

It's just a phase. Roar! Nothing incites rage in me like the old it's-just-a-phase crap. When I was straight, no 1 told me it was just a stage. Like a lot of these other misconceptions, you wouldn't say it to a straight person, so don't say it to me. Information technology's hurtful and offensive because tons of thought, anguish and emotion went in to figuring out my sexuality. To dismiss it equally a phase is also to say I wasted months of my life thinking well-nigh something that isn't existent.

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Source: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/03/02/tf.misconceptions.about.lesbians/index.html

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